What It Means To Get Out Of Your Head
I think I'm very special. And because I think I'm special, I want to become someone great and be even special-er. When I falter sometimes and succumb to my own beliefs that I'm not good enough or I can't do certain things, a sense of frustration bubbles within me: "Aren't you supposed to be special? If you're special, you aren't suppose to be feeling this average. Special should be smooth."
Even as what I'm talking about has been talked about by many, on why millennials like me feel so disillusioned because we think we're special, this is an issue that continues to bog me. We grew up in a loved environment, showered with gifts and attention and care, being told by our parents and the people around us that we're special, and to keep believing we are so. However, this causes our view of reality to be somewhat skewed: "If I'm supposed to be special, why don't I feel special? Why don't I stand out among my peers?"
Waitbutwhy discusses this issue in great detail. It says:
GYPSYs (Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies) Are Delusional
“Sure,” Lucy has been taught, “everyone will go and get themselves some fulfilling career, but I am unusually wonderful and as such, my career and life path will stand out amongst the crowd.” So on top of the generation as a whole having the bold goal of a flowery career lawn, each individual GYPSY thinks that he or she is destined for something even better—
A shiny unicorn on top of the flowery lawn.
So why is this delusional? Because this is what all GYPSYs think, which defies the definition of special:
spe-cial| ‘speSHel |
better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.
According to this definition, most people are not special—otherwise “special” wouldn’t mean anything.
Even right now, the GYPSYs reading this are thinking, “Good point…but I actually am one of the few special ones”—and this is the problem.
A second GYPSY delusion comes into play once the GYPSY enters the job market. While Lucy’s parents’ expectation was that many years of hard work would eventually lead to a great career, Lucy considers a great career an obvious given for someone as exceptional as she, and for her it’s just a matter of time and choosing which way to go.
Unfortunately, the funny thing about the world is that it turns out to not be that easy of a place, and the weird thing about careers is that they’re actually quite hard. Great careers take years of blood, sweat and tears to build—even the ones with no flowers or unicorns on them—and even the most successful people are rarely doing anything that great in their early or mid-20s.
But GYPSYs aren’t about to just accept that.
Paul Harvey, a University of New Hampshire professor and GYPSY expert, has researched this, finding that Gen Y has “unrealistic expectations and a strong resistance toward accepting negative feedback,” and “an inflated view of oneself.” He says that “a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren’t in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting.”
The crew behind Waitbutwhy goes on to explain that GYPSYs are taunted and they shouldn't think that they are special. They should stay wildly ambitious but stop thinking that they are special.
Even as my first reaction after reading that was: "Wait a minute. That sounds a little too harsh, don't you think?", after marinating it in my head for a while, I'm more inclined now to agree with them. If I, or anyone out there who experiences similar thoughts, continue to live in the "I am special and nothing negative/harmful is supposed to happen/could happen to me", then it's really time to question what I have to do to make this "special" work. It's an ideal, but it remains so if it's just in our heads.
This brings me to the point of: Why we need to get out of our heads.
We can have so many dreams, so many wishes. I wish to change the world for the better. I wish to publish a book. I wish to help a million people. I can say all these things. But talk is cheap. And talk is merely talk.
I consider myself as someone with many ideas. And I indeed have many dreams for the future or what the world could be. And it's due to a growing frustration within me, the sense of feeling stuck (inside my head), that I'm beginning to sense a greater urgency to start doing and stop thinking.
This frustration propelled me to write this post. To get past the fear of failure and of being judged by others and to do what I love, which is to write and share what I write.
Thinking about things is good, no doubt about that. But sometimes thinking too much could really be what holds us back from actually achieving what we want. "Start doing?", you may ask. "But what if...", you may counter. There you are, worrying and holding back and remaining in your head. Maybe the push we really need is to simply take concrete actions.
For the new year, go ahead, make your resolutions. But don't let these resolutions remain just resolutions that you would embarrassingly recycle for the next new year. Start doing. Get out of your head.